BROLLY ETIQUETTE

I just had a semi traumatic experience. Okay, I exaggerate, annoying maybe? I thought I would be doing the community a great service if I shared this with everyone. So, if you live in Glasgow you will understand how chaotic it gets with umbrellas. I’m short, about 5.3’’ though my friends would say that I’m shorter (whatever). So if you are my height and you are winding your way down a narrow lane in love-song like rain, these are things you should do. And if you don’t you are in danger of losing an eye..or getting a nasty potential tetanus scare.

  1. If there is incoming traffic, you RAISE your umbrella.
  2. If YOU are incoming traffic and taller than I am, you raise YOUR umbrella. Because this is what happens when you don’t raise your umbrella…

Our umbrellas CRASH..and I wibble wobble backwards. And If I made an effort to look all nice that day, I just look really silly. And then we have a weird ‘now look what you’ve done’ moment and you scowl and I scowl and the poor girl behind you suffers even more. Especially if she is my height! And it’s not like I have Sherlock Holmes powers. Like this scenario for instance:

‘’Move to the right, bump into innocent girl going to a lecture. Move to the left I bump into another umbrella and he bumps into the girl walking right next to him. Stay where I am, cute guy at 12 o’ clock has perfect vision. Probability of all three happening at once? Zero. Stay still for best case scenario.’’

Unfortunately for me I end up being subjected to whatever chain reaction happens. So I think the best solution is for really tall people to either get hoodies or just humongous umbrellas. That way I stay nice and dry and their larger umbrella covers my small umbrella.

I know it may sound silly for me to be harping on about umbrellas. But think of all the chaos before traffic lights were invented. It’s not like we can have umbrella wardens..or can we?

Oh, and I don’t know what’s up with the guy who didn’t want to share his brolly, picture came with him.

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