So..Sheldon Cooper has a protocol for everything. Mostly to do with an apocalypse of some sort. Not quite sure if he has anything for an alien invasion but a random re-run of the Big Bang Theory might confirm that for me. It makes you feel at ease now doesn’t it? That you have ‘a’ plan. That you don’t have to be one of those people rushing off to Curry’s or PC World to nick a TV. But seriously, who does that? When there is a dinosaur roaming the streets of New York or London, why in the world would anyone want to steal a TV? Zilla would obviously end up jacking all the power lines anyway.

So the whole logic behind preparation is to know what to do when something actually happens. It makes sense doesn’t it? We shouldn’t wait for a fire and have many people puzzled about where the nearest exit is. But here is the magic question though. Doesn’t the natural human instinct to survive trump all protocol? I bet you if you are three storeys high you wont even think twice about finding the nearest ‘fire exit’ if you see a window. I only say this because long ago my uncle told me that if I ever had a face-off with a dog, all I had to do was stay where I was and pretend I was picking a rock. So what did I do the day that happened? I ran like hell. In fact, we all ran like hell in different directions. One of my friends managed to jump into the dining room, another a dressing room, I just kept running till some people stopped me. I wasn’t bitten which was great but I had to go back looking for my bucket. Yes, we used buckets but I chucked it. Why would I be running holding a bucket and toothbrush? (That would have made an amazing photograph) I knew the dog would be going straight for me and not the bucket. Actually, thinking about it now I could have turned the bucket into a weapon. Some of my friends were upset that I left them behind to fend for themselves. Made me think of those movies where the guy went back in to save someone. At that time, unfortunately my natural instincts were not on ‘hero’ mode.

So why do we have all these things if they usually mostly work for drills? That’s because when some of us just scram someone else is calm and collected and takes the wheel to do the necessary. I really admire such people, keep doing the good work. I think I have become derailed now, I was supposed to be talking about a train. Ah yes, the joy of ‘early bookings’. You book early because you don’t want to be stuck with a bad seat. You book early so like me you can have the joy of being able to type on the train. You book early because you really don’t want to miss out on the cheaper tickets. Actually I think that is reason numero uno. But what does the train company decide to do to me? Get me on sardines express. We are so cramped it almost feels like home. See, the people who design these trains let me ask you. If people are travelling more than 5 hours to some place what do you think they carry? Purses and man bags? Where do you expect us to put all our crap?

Using this post to just air my frustration I guess I should just reasonably conclude, it is good to be prepared. But some drills don’t really prepare you for everything. And the whole early bird catches the worm thing? It might be a very bad worm. But these principles generally work pretty well so yeah, never ignore the fire drills and always book early. Or whatever.

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