INSTA-NOOOOOO!

Now I know what you’re thinking.  If there is anything social networks have done is increase the ways we can communicate with each other. I can let my friends and anyone else who sort of knows my friends (but doesn’t know me but we can kind of be virtual friends cos that’s kinda cool) know where I am and what I’m doing every single minute of the day. It’s easy really, I can check myself in for that breakfast at Tribeca (but I’m really at KFC but since it’s not that glamorous, Tribeca will do) and then Instagram myself happy and full just after breakfast. Hashtag breakfast awesomeness, hashtag happy mornings hashtag ‘casual Fridays’. Though there is nothing really casual about that now is there? I don’t see someone calling their friend and going ‘Oh hi! I just woke up’ 10 minutes later ‘Yeah I just got to Tribeca and I’m about to take breakfast’ 20 minutes later ‘I just sent you a picture of myself after breakfast’…It’s all a little mad now isn’t it? Well, unless it’s a BT advert. They stay on the line for ageeees! Clearly I’m with the wrong company.

Okay so after doing all that I can easily tweet everyone all through the day. See, it’s a little like talking to myself but in very short sentences. And that again, is being social because all those ‘following’ me can know what I’m doing. And even more so, I can finally know what Ryan Gosling does with himself everyday except look good. So after a long day at work or rather hashtag Library I then go home and update my Facebook status about the kind of day I had (just in case they missed all the other updates). So you see, even without meeting me you already know a lot about me. I think guys should do all that monitoring instead of spending time on Match.com. I mean, think about it. They will know where I like to go, what I like to do and what I like to eat. This is because I will have taken pictures of all these things and put them on Instagram. So, now here is where it gets interesting. If I meet a guy today and he says something like ‘So, are the pancakes in Tribeca really that good?’ I would probably think it’s pretty creepy. Seriously, who does that? But then we’re so comfortable involving the rest of the world with everything we are doing and fail to see how that actually allows someone to feel like they actually know you. To be honest I sometimes feel the same way about Denzel Washington but that’s totally different.  Also, actual communication gets weird. I mean even I would be like ‘what was Rihanna thinking? Hashtag prada boots’..okay, I’m really not sure if they were Prada but they were something fancy. What am I getting at? It has become so much easier to communicate via social networks or rather share our world with the rest of the world that human contact has become awkward. Well, unless you’re on a social dating site then you sort of have to. Unless you know, internet boyfriends are still a thing .I am not sure how my mother would feel about that but my Dad would be pretty happy. Until he finds out we can virtually ‘touch’ each other. Haha, honestly I keep thinking it only gets weirder and weirder. Plus I have poked people on facebook a couple of times so I’m guessing I’m probably the last person to be pointing fingers here.

After all that randomness  *cough* my conclusion…I’m not sure if this post even deserves a conclusion. One thing though, it makes dating so much simpler. Who needs a blind date when you can just gain access their Instagram account? And if it’s a dinner date, you can check what colour shirt he’s wearing so that you can wear a dress that matches…cutesies!!! He probably won’t call you back but that’s what you get for following my advice #muhahahahahahaha!!

FULL MOON ON THE ‘WEEN

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For party-ville my walk to the library is masked by remarkable silence. And of course, the odd costume or two..three. Pokemon..check, smurf (again?) check..doctor..check. I look up and it’s a full moon. All the werewolves definitely turning tonight. Then the odd imagination just starts going haywire. You know the feeling. Any sudden movement and there you go looking over your shoulder. This feels like the beginning of a very bad horror film. Silly little girl going to the library on Halloween.  Another sad-o like myself (not in costume and not going to a party) opens the door for me. While in the elevator we exchanged pity stories about why we were there. He said something about an exam or saving up for a really good costume the following year. I didn’t get the connection between the two but that was his story. I get off on my floor..and it was dead silent. The lucky ones were even leaving at that hour while I braced myself to burn the night oil. I got the whole show..lights were flicking on and off..silent footsteps. And my imagination started conjuring an image of a very angry student with a chainsaw. So before I could let my heart start racing and notice I could have possibly been all alone on that floor, I found a random playlist and voila! Even if Mr. Chainsaw came and left I would have had no idea. I have been out on Halloween before but I doubt I was ever spooked as much as the first hour in that library. Silver lining..I got a lot of work done..and most of my walk home was probably on auto-pilot mode to care about werewolves etc etc. I’m back in there today. Less spooky because the university decided to have exams on now..SWEET! Next year I am going to ambush a party. I did not like being spooked even though that’s sort of the point. Either way, watch out for the wacko with the chainsaw.

TANZANIA..THE LAND OF PEACE..AND A FEW IMPRESSIONABLE IDLE PEOPLE

Last week (oh me and not publishing posts when they are still relevant) my country Tanzania went through a scare. This was a result from many a things that have been happening over the past few weeks. I afterwards asked myself how with the access to media, can people resolve to such horrendous acts after seeing what it has done to other countries in the world. I have come up with a few thoughts.

PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE MANY THINGS TO DO OR RATHER THEY ARE IDLE

My mother always said an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Though those are not her words I can see the connection. You have one person with their extreme political views who would collect a mass of idle people and fill their heads with dubious propaganda. While it is okay to let them have a platform and all have a quiet helpless giggle after, I saw a few ‘pangas‘ and some singing that made me worry. How logical is it for people to cause chaos and expect to get a non-chaotic response? Are people not likely to be on your side if you try to do things a little more peacefully? Chaos sometimes justifies the use of force and then whatever cause you had is silenced.  So, If there was an important message, it probably got lost after someone I don’t know, torched a church or resorted to looting. Yes, people stealing things absolutely makes them look organised. Is there such a thing as organised chaos? I kept thinking, don’t these people have work to do? Because if they did then they surely wouldn’t be out vandalizing and stealing property to get their point across. But hey, what do I know, maybe looting does get the point across, like the London riots. Or maybe not. Last thing I remember was a young boy getting jail time for nicking a bin from Debenhams, go figure. Or you know, protesters in Syria that grope reporters while getting their point across. Perhaps in the midst of people who want to peacefully protest, a couple of weirdos get in the mix and use it as an opportunity to go absolutely mental. I would hate to think they are all deluded and thieves and gropers and every other horrible word I can think of. There has to be some hope for peaceful protesting.

RELIGION..THE POOR SCAPEGOAT

So now people have resorted to blaming religious groups for the chaos. While it might be true that they are perhaps of the same religion, it’s a bit unfair to just put them all in one lovely group. The ‘them’ and ‘us’ logic just creates unnecessary fear and hatred. I think we are all past that by now. America is the extreme case where certain people fear a certain group of people for no reason whatsoever. My friend said the series 24 is to be blamed for the obvious profiling and so many other shows. Homeland wins it for me because the so called ‘terrorists’ are nationals. But that’s beside the point. Regardless of who is protesting, the law is there to prosecute crime. Who cares if they’re Muslim? Besides, no religion promotes the use of violence anyway so labelling them Muslim is another debate altogether. So is the problem that people see it as a crime related to a religion? Or is the problem the crime itself? Which bears greater harm? That people do not hesitate to connect the dots in that way or that we have many young and idle impressionable group of people waiting for the next person to give them an excuse to create chaos? At least the latter can later be taken care of. But if people secretly want to create ‘religious war’ then we have a much greater problem on our hands.

I recently read a very good article and someone suggested that children need to be educated. Because if they are educated then they would not fall victim to people who want to poison their minds. Should the burden be on the government? I say yes. Put it right in the curriculum. At least that way we deal with a much bigger problem, IGNORANCE. The fear of the unknown creates very interesting excuses for people. That by far seems a far better solution rather than to focus on religion, we all know how that debate ends. It really doesn’t.

CONCLUSION?

I may have possibly left out other reasons for all that activity but so far? One, keep the empty vessels in check by encouraging healthy debate on what goes on. If it’s one thing we are good at is ‘debating’ issues. If we keep that up we might come up with a healthy resolve. Because let’s face it, we don’t do chaos, we ride on being very ‘peaceful’ people. Shame if the whole world thinks otherwise. But stay tuned.

A SECOND CHANCE TO SAVE THE WORLD

On the eve of the U.S elections my mind is swimming with a lot of memories. Many years ago on a night like this one I was probably asleep or watching a movie. Literally anything but endlessly checking updates for the U.S elections. The world was going crazy, well, Africa was kind of going crazy. To be more specific, East Africa was kind of going crazy. So, the night passed and the next day was what I would describe as interesting, in a chaotic kind of way. I don’t know about you but I never bought into the whole Obama was going to change things EVERYWHERE. And, you know, because he is originally Kenyan he would care more about Africa because you know, CHANGE was coming. So on my way to a lecture some people asked me if I was celebrating Obama’s victory. I said ‘no’ and this was the aftermath:

I was accused of being a traitor. Because an African-American became President I was supposed to take a day off and drink and be merry with my brethren.

I was accused of being brainwashed by ‘the other side’. This is frankly the best way I can put the very rude wording. That I was so blinded I could not see the truth, that things now were different.

So after wondering why a Tanzanian like myself should care about an American President, I decided to wait and see that light at the end of the tunnel. Change indeed came to the African continent. Pubs made tons of money because we were celebrating history, that was new. Sales of Obama T-shirts, rice and khangas went through the roof. Oh the profit made from that definitely impacted the economy; that was new. The East African economy drastically changed when Obama went into office..no..not really; that was new. ‘My’ life drastically changed; that was new. In fact, too many new things happened I wanted to know this big Obama factor.

Could it be that he was too busy to CHANGE the whole world in the short time he was in office? Or could it be that people forgot that he wasn’t president of the Earth but America? I liked the whole global victory thing. And of course I was happy for the guy, I mean, some people can say ‘anything’ was  better than Bush but he’s actually okay. I don’t want to be hard on him, maybe this might be his chance to prove me wrong. If he comes over to bring us CHANGE, we will be there in our Obama T-shirts and khangas and later we will all dine together and have some yummy Obama rice.

THE THINGS WOMEN NEVER WANT TO DO..LIKE, NEVER EVER

So after watching the American presidential debates there are certain things highlighted that women would not want to do. This is because if they did those things then they would still be in the dark ages. Being a woman myself I thought I would relate but I kind of had to side with Romney on this one. No, I am neither American nor from Ohio (though the former would certainly cancel out the latter…eh.. Jon Stewart was a lot funnier about it) but I see this as a global issue. I will name my points after the words ‘Is Romney Crazy…’ (I’d normally say yes but he did manage to semi impress me). I will keep the answers very subjective because people get in trouble for answering for an entire population.

Is Romney crazy to think some women would certainly want to start a family? 

Let’s see, this is a tricky one. Of course I have no crystal ball and hence cannot tell you when exactly I will want to have children or if I want to have children at all. But, and maybe hopefully some would agree with me, that it’s perfectly natural to assume that somewhere down the line a woman will want to have a family of her own. Now if an employer sees the role to be very demanding and foresee their having problems with employing me for instance in the future, should they just give it to the next guy? YES! My next point will further demonstrate why this job might later not be as important as the children.

Is Romney crazy to think women would put children before work?                 

Well, I do not have children but I would think maternal instincts sometimes take over. I would want to get home to my children as opposed to staying for six extra hours at work. Maybe one of them learnt something new at school that they want to show me, or have homework they need help with. Or you know what? I haven’t seen them all day and  I want to go home to see them before they go beddy-byes. My bedtime was 8.30pm (just after the news) and if my mother stayed at work late then we would have missed her very very very much. And also, at least with her she wouldn’t give me extra maths questions to do on top of my homework.

Is Romney crazy to think some women would want to go home and cook for their families?

This a sensitive topic these days. Men cooking too and what not. A burger and fries would have been the most awesome of dinners as a young lass but I was made to eat the healthy stuff. So, if I personally would not like a microwave dinner why then would I feed it to my kids? Unless of course I want a career. Ah well, such things will sort themselves out. But wait, can’t I have a career and get home in time to feed my tots..oh yeah! That flexi-time thing that’s moving women backwards…oh dear, we can’t win can we?

How can you want the best for a younger generation if the very same people to raise them pretend or insist it is sexist to expect them to raise their own children? Is it just me or that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? Women with children make sacrifices everyday, because that is what mothers do (most of them anyway). Unless you’re expecting television to raise your children, I would be more focused on companies allowing for flexibility. So I think people should just calm down. The future of women is not bleak and we are not doomed to stay in the ‘dark ages’. It is what it is, when it comes to children, women just do a better job. I am not saying there are men out there who do not do a good job, so please don’t bite.

And in saying that, there is nothing wrong with the men toiling for the six figure salaries (and more?). By all means, if you were to write that cheque you wouldn’t want to be the guy firing the woman who just wants to take care of her children. Instead, just get the right people for the job. There’s something for all of us out there so let’s not get greedy. Oh yeah, Romney is not crazy, in the three cases mentioned before. I cannot speak for all the other stuff he’s said.

IF EVERY AFRICAN PARENT WAS #1 IN CLASS…..

So, every time report card season would come, most Tanzanian parents would start with a story. I later found out many of my friends were told a very similar story. It went (or perhaps still goes) a little bit like this:
‘In my days I always came first in my class.’ And then they all add a personal twist. This was my father’s:

”I had to put in extra study time so I would read on the corridor next to the bathroom because that is where the light bulb was. I never played cards (his efforts to make sure I’d never consider poker as a social activity) and I always took all my subjects very seriously.”

Now, I have to say that after the 6th grade I didn’t buy the whole ‘all parents came first’ story because surely, someone had to come last (or second?). But the rest of it I doubt was fabricated. I grew up looking at my parents as heroes because they had to overcome a lot of things. And I suppose they told us such stories to let us know where they came from and how much better things were for us.

So, what is the moral of this story? One, dear parents, it’s okay to tell us that you worked hard in school because the pressure to always try to come first is a bit much for some. And second? With everything that is provided to us these days there is so much more we can achieve. I know some people still have the perception that Africa is full of uneducated uninspired youths who wait for aid to get things done. This is not true. Older generations inspire us to do better, and go further. Some people may still have to study by candlelight  but you know what, the hunger to improve one’s livelihood is motivation enough for them to do the necessary to achieve their goals.

Hopefully with time one day the youth will not have to read by candle light, but till then? The struggle continues.

BROLLY ETIQUETTE

I just had a semi traumatic experience. Okay, I exaggerate, annoying maybe? I thought I would be doing the community a great service if I shared this with everyone. So, if you live in Glasgow you will understand how chaotic it gets with umbrellas. I’m short, about 5.3’’ though my friends would say that I’m shorter (whatever). So if you are my height and you are winding your way down a narrow lane in love-song like rain, these are things you should do. And if you don’t you are in danger of losing an eye..or getting a nasty potential tetanus scare.

1. If there is incoming traffic, you RAISE your umbrella.
2. If YOU are incoming traffic and taller than I am, you raise YOUR umbrella. Because this is what happens when you don’t raise your umbrella…

Our umbrellas CRASH..and I wibble wobble backwards. And If I made an effort to look all nice that day, I just look really silly. And then we have a weird ‘now look what you’ve done’ moment and you scowl and I scowl and the poor girl behind you suffers even more. Especially if she is my height! And it’s not like I have Sherlock Holmes powers. Like this scenario for instance:

‘’Move to the right, bump into innocent girl going to a lecture. Move to the left I bump into another umbrella and he bumps into the girl walking right next to him. Stay where I am, cute guy at 12 o’ clock has perfect vision. Probability of all three happening at once? Zero. Stay still for best case scenario.’’

Unfortunately for me I end up being subjected to whatever chain reaction happens. So I think the best solution is for really tall people to either get hoodies or just humongous umbrellas. That way I stay nice and dry and their larger umbrella covers my small umbrella.

I know it may sound silly for me to be harping on about umbrellas. But think of all the chaos before traffic lights were invented. It’s not like we can have umbrella wardens..or can we?

Oh, and I don’t know what’s up with the guy who didn’t want to share his brolly, picture came with him.